“X acts so differently when she’s around Y.”
“She’s acting so fake!”
“Why did she just tell So-and-So that she doesn’t eat sugary food when I’ve seen her eat 11 Nutella crepes in one sitting?”
Ring any bells?
Okay, that last example might not be relatable to everyone (even I have only finished off three crepes in one sitting), but you see where I’m coming from. If you’re a 20-something girl/woman, these types of statements have probably been said BY you and ABOUT you..GUILTY! (I’m not excluding all guys from this either, but I haven’t heard too many guys call out their buddies for being “fake.”)
What it comes down to, at least to me, is we expect to get the whole version of a person all at once, and that this version is always going to be the same. But when I think about it, I realize I have different friends that see different parts of me. When I’m with A friend I might be really goofy, and when I’m with B friend I might be more inclined to show off my more sensitive side. Then, if I hang out with A friend and B friend together, I’ll likely be an awkward combination of sensitive and goofy, or maybe something else entirely. Then, friends A and B might be like “Who is this creep?” and think I’m acting differently because of who’s around.
Consider your personality in terms of a puzzle, and each puzzle piece is labeled with a different personality trait you possess. We can’t be all of these things all the time Me, Myself, and Irene style, and when we’re with different people, different pieces of our personality will be more prominent. We’re quick to call other people out for acting differently than we’re used to, but it’s important to keep in mind it could just be a different piece of their puzzle that’s on display, rather than them being “fake.”
Now, some friends are so close they’ve seen all the pieces of that puzzle. The good, the bad, the ugly, the drunk, the reaaaaaaalllyyyyy ugly, etc. But there still might be pieces of us that are more prominent when we’re with that person. Our personality can change according to the environment we’re in, and we often react to our surroundings in ways we don’t even realize.
Anywho, just something to keep in mind next time we’re wondering why our friend who is normally super sensitive is acting like Regina George around other people. When you notice these things in other people, consider it an opportunity to examine your own personality to understand better what makes you tick!
FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
“I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.” -Frank Costello in The Departed
Stay tuned for a list of friend types I’ll be posting tomorrow. I promise it’ll be more fun to read. BECAUSE A DIFFERENT PART OF MY PERSONALITY WAS MORE PROMINENT WHEN I WROTE IT!
Thank you so much for reading and please share your thoughts/comments/questions below!