XO& Get to Know: What do you wish you knew about sex before you found out for yourself?

It's way past due for another XO&Get to Know post here (or any post at all), so I think it's time to come back in with a BANG!

I asked a bunch of women what they wish someone had told them about sex before they had it for themselves. I suppose it's probably for the best that we learn some of these things on our own because 1) things don't really set in until you find out for yourself, and 2) some of these things might be uncomfortable to hear from a respected elder.


Don't try "from behind" with someone you just met. Only someone who loves you should see that angle of your lady bits.

That it’s ok to laugh during some of those awkward moments during sex, it’s not like the movies where all moves work seamlessly and don’t expect it to be a movie!

The smell ;) 

OH GAWD! Where do I even start? Well… it never looks like the movies the first time you get penetrated by a big/small/thin/thick dank. It’s fucking scary. Also your body is a temple, sounds lame but its true…don’t ever do anything that you don’t want do just to please someone #RESPECTyoself. Also, be comfortable in your own skin, do a few cartwheels naked in your room once in a while or in front of your roommate, and remember #gurlyoureababe and believe that because I can tell you now, if I knew that back then I probably would be in the porn industry and would be #ballin.

It rules. 

There will be no candlelight and soft music playing in the back round.  It will be awkward and weird and you will hear noises and sounds you probably didn’t know existed; but you will laugh more than you think and that what will also make it great. 

That I would wish I had waited for the person I was going to marry.

How good it felt.

The female orgasm is one in a million

That it's not something to be ashamed of. Women's value is always associated so closely with sex in our society, which is the absolute most ridiculous thing ever. Everyone should have as much or as little or as weird or as normal sexual experiences as they wish (as long as they are always consensual).

Anal isn't for everyone.

The first time will never be good. It's going to look bad, feel bad, and sound bad. But after you work out the kinks - greatest thing in the world.

If you don't laugh at least once, you're probably fornicating with the wrong human.

It is way, way, way better when you are in love, less penetration = more fun stuff, toys are not a bad/dirty thing.

That one night stands are really the worst thing ever.  There is not one good thing about them...not even that you got laid.

I wish I knew that literally everyone has insecurities and that's okay! And eventually you will find someone that you're compatible with that will love you insecurities and all. 

I waited a very long time to have sex (25 years) for many different personal reasons and I don’t regret waiting. I do wish I had understood the lack of emotion that’s actually attached to the action of sex. Love and a meaningful relationship and the other sacrifices you give up for someone that you love are much bigger than just having sex. I was planning to wait until marriage as that’s what I was taught growing up. I did wait until it was someone I loved and felt I would be with for the rest of my life but I now think that I put too much pressure on myself to wait until I said I do.

THAT WAS FUN!!!!! It's always kinda nice to hear that other people have the same worries, insecurities, and experiences as you. I think a dialogue about this stuff is really important because it's one of the most basic and natural parts of our existence and it doesn't make sense to me that people feel ashamed to discuss it. 

If you want to take part in the next round of XO&GettoKnow questions, email me at chelseakram@gmail.com and I will send them your way!!!!

Thanks for reading xoxoxoxoxo